Last night saw the first airing of the Channel 4/National Geographic documentary series "Alone in the Wild".
The premiss is a simple but potentially brilliant one: One man gets dropped in the Yukon Wilderness with some basic rations and equipment and has to survive for 3 months on his own. Will he survive? Will he stay sane? Will his life change forever? Seriously... I'm not that bothered...
I quite fancy a break away from everything for a while, you know, just me; a tent; my thoughts; maybe some basic rations and a decent supply of cash to spend in the local food and alcohol emporium. Who knows maybe I'll get all extravagant and shell out on some insect repellent - you know what the countryside can be like for us city types. How would I manage without my usual creature comforts? How would the lack of conversation affect me? How long could I last like that? What would my limits be? What if I ran out of pants?
It was with some interest then that I viewed the trailers for this show. Here was a man who, by choice, was willing to be dropped in the Yukon and left alone for 3 months. Clearly this guy didn't think a couple of weeks in Gloucestershire would suffice. But therein lies the problem. Throughout all of his trials and tribulations, his plaintiff cries of anguish and his downward spiral into madness and starvation I couldn't empathise at all. I couldn't shake the idea that I would have a much deeper emotional involvement if he'd fallen out of a plane and found himself in this position. The show went sort of like this for me:
"There could be bears out there which is why I have a shotgun and an electric fence"
- Your choice mate
"I just can't seem to catch any food, there are no rabbits or salmon anywhere"
- Yeah, your choice mate
"This is the hardest thing I've ever done"
- Well, you could have avoided the whole thing to be honest
"I've lost nearly 2 stone in the last month, my clothes don't fit and I'm too weak to move"
- Well, probably shouldn't have gone then eh?
"I can't talk to the camera without crying"
- Stop artistically filming yourself skinny dipping and hunt for food then you knobhead
There were a couple of things that made me wince though. At one stage he mentions that he can no longer concentrate and that he has Queen lyrics looping in his head - harsh punishment indeed. Couple this with the shots of him literally dragging his sorry arse out of his local swimming lake and the primal screams of frustration that he emits on a seemingly random basis and things are looking bleak for our hero.
According to the obligatory "on next weeks show" it looks like things pick up for him and if that is the case there'll be even less reason to watch. Surely at that point they should change the name to "What I Did On My Holidays by Ed Wardle"
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